‘Parenting doesn’t have to be so perfect,’ you say. Why not? 

‘We live in a success-driven society. Everything is focused on outcomes. A child becomes a project that has to “succeed”. Everything has to be fun, and at the same time we want our child to be happy.’ 

‘On top of that, we live in a state of constant rush. We pack children’s lives with sports, music lessons, clubs – all of which we then showcase on social media. We place too many demands on our children. I argue above all for bringing back simplicity.’ 

What do you see in your practice and around you? 

‘I understand that, as parents, we very much want to connect with our children. More than ever, we are in dialogue with them. 

The downside is that I see us asking children a lot of questions: what would you like to eat, who would you like to play with? We want to let children co‑decide all the time, while we are finding it harder and harder to say no.’ 

‘We want to give them autonomy. At the same time, we place too many demands on them – especially on young children, who above all need guidance and for decisions to be made for them.’ 

Is that different from the past? 

‘Before 2000, parents tended to be clearer with their children, partly because there were fewer options. Many things were simply fixed: this is what you are getting for dinner, this is where we buy clothes, this is the present you will receive. 

Nowadays we find it difficult to say no. Yet children need clarity. Having a clear framework ultimately creates much more happiness.’ 

What is your advice? 

‘Now, a children’s party often means choosing from thirty different attractions. There is an abundance of everything. In the past, there were simple games like sack races – and children enjoyed them just as much. It was straightforward. 

I argue for bringing back simplicity, and for setting boundaries. Saying no more often. That way, children will still become happier – which is exactly what we want!’